Goofin' Past The Graveyard

What a horrible couple of weeks it has been! Like the couple of weeks before, and those before that. Once again, I have a comic out today, and that means I have a newsletter to write.

But before I begin telling your inbox the good news, let me spread the word on another place you can find details of what's out and when - I've got a new all-promotional Bluesky account here at https://bsky.app/profile/alewingpromotes.bsky.social - it's all my comics news, all the time! I don't curate it myself, so it's not the place to go if you want my actual thoughts, but that does mean it's got all the fine detail I'm too scatterbrained to put in my regular Bluesky feed.

But speaking of comics news...

WHAT'S OUT TODAY?

Metamorpho: The Element Man #5, that's what!

And the 5 stands for five Metamorphos! Not just Metamorpho himself and his handler-slash-bodyguard Element Gal - but also the much-missed Element Woman, Emily Sung, and the amazing Element Dog from the pages of The Terrifics! And fans of that series will have even more to love - as Algon, the Ancient Element Man of roman times, joins the cast to explain how his appearance in those pages fits in perfectly with the time he fought Metamorpho in the swinging sixties! Who says this isn't the New Metamorpho Age of Continuity Cross-Stitching, Metamaniac?

But that's not the only shock revelation in these pages – as Metamorpho finds out that everything he knew is... WRONG! 95% right, but still WRONG! In certain minor details! And as is traditional in these circumstances, the knowledge of his new, updated origin will cheese the fab freak off something fierce - so be there as he gets rude and rowdy as only Steve Lieber could delineate it! And only Lee Loughridge could color it! And only Ferran Delgado could letter it!

MARVEL COMICS PANEL BY PANEL

Behold the third ever panel of Marvel Comics:

As has been established in previous Panel By Panel episodes, discovering the gag page NOWI'LLTELLONE on the inside front cover of Marvel Comics #1 changed my entire understanding of the Marvel Universe. There are five panels here, each one teaching us something of deep and tremendous significance - firstly, that this is a world of heroes with problems, secondly that it's a word of continuity and lore. And now, thirdly, we get to the meat.

First of all, we learn that the Marvel Universe is a serious place. There's certainly no "joke" to be found here, so I can only assume that this is a depiction of some grave and sombre event in Marvel's history. But what? What could be so eventful as to leave room for not even the slightest trace of humor?

Well, some say Sub-Mariner was Marvel's first mutant, while others counter that it's the flying man from that old issue of Amazing Fantasy. But both are wrong, because Marvel's first ever mutant on the page is clearly this talking baby.

Either he's just been born or he's undergone some kind of traumatic illness - perhaps from a very early awakening of the X-gene? But either way, the baby can talk and understand on an adult level, frightening the wits out of the nurse. Also, the nurse was just bringing him breakfast, okay? That's clearly "MILK" in the bottle, there's a rubber teat attached for feeding, so what's baby's problem? Huh? What's the problem? Have a little patience, baby! You're literally seconds away from getting your breakfast, and I don't see anywhere else to go but the bed, so you're going to get your breakfast in bed that you're so gosh-darn insistent about, okay? It's coming! Jeez! What a rude baby.

So we've learned that there are mutants, and we've learned that some of them are evil mutants because of how rude that baby is. She's bringing you the milk, baby! Just keep your trap shut for two minutes and let the poor woman work at her own pace! It's not all about you, rude baby!

I'll tell you, we can argue about whether Magneto was right, but Magneto wasn't rude. Not like this baby! This incredibly rude and impatient baby. If Bolivar Trask met this baby, the Sentinels would be twice as big. In fact, I'm pro-Sentinel now! Put the Sentinels on this baby! He's too rude of a baby! Just a rude, rude baby. Entitled! An entitled baby.

TWIST! That's actually Charles Xavier as a baby.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT RUDE AND ENTITLED BABIES

Let's talk about the current UK government! HEY-OH.

If you're British and you're anything like me, you're pretty disappointed in our current government. We'd come to expect rank stupidity, hypocrisy and performative cruelty from the Tories - to have notional opponents Labour step in and try to out-do them feels like a betrayal, even if the signs were there since Tony Blair. Our Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, seems more and more like an empty void where a set of beliefs and principles should be - but maybe I'm being optimistic there. Maybe we're seeing all his beliefs and principles on show for the first time. Maybe they were always on show for those not blinded by hope.

But – assuming he's not just a Reform politician in a convincing rubber mask – he does seem vulnerable to pressure. Transactual have issued a guide on writing directly to the PM here - obviously, his open transphobia is only one of many, many things that I'll be writing in about. I don't know how much good that'll do - I can't bung a tenner in his pocket, which seems to be the language he understands - but it's probably more effective than fuming quietly in my armchair.

I also write fairly regularly to my local MP, and I've seen some positive action as a result. (Also, stony silence.) If you're in the UK and you want to know what your MP's about - be they Labour or anything else - https://www.theyworkforyou.com/ is a good resource, and https://www.writetothem.com/ makes for a useful way to get in touch. You can also use these resources to send snail mail, which I'm told is effective.

AND ON THAT NOTE...

I'm done! Love, strength and justice to all who need it, and I'll play us out with the latest from Brian David Gilbert - "Husky Voice".